Monday, July 27, 2009

Don't I Look Great For 56?

NAME: Erica
HEIGHT: 5' 9"
WEIGHT:
How dare you!
AGE: 56


Did you know that I'm fifty-six?
Yep..... fifty-six ----- 56!
And don't I look great?

Okay, so I'm really only 36, but hear me out!

Most women I know tend to want to lie about their age. For some reason they want people to think they're younger than they actually are. WHY? I mean if you've got crows feet starting to form, gray hairs starting to sprout out on the top of your head, facial hair that needs a'plucking, and your arm is still waving 5 seconds after your hand stops waving... why would you want people to think you're YOUNGER with these problems? I guess we are supposed to think younger is better? I don't! I worked hard for every one of these gray hairs, and I smiled so much that I got these laugh-lines, and the babies that gave me these stretch-marks were worth every single zebra-striped one of 'em.

When asked my age I tell the truth actually. I'm proud of my age. It's what I am. BUT if I were going to fudge the numbers just a little bit, I would prefer to lie up to 56 rather than down to 26. Think about it. Why would I want to say I'm 26, only to have the "asker" secretly thinking, "Wow, she looks a bit old for 26." Now they'd never say it to my face, but they'd think it. Yes-sir-ee-Bob, they'd think it!

So if they ask my age and I say FIFTY-SIX, then imagine their thought process. "Wow, she looks FABULOUS for 56!" Yea, I like that better! Just think, they'd start asking me what my "secrets" are. And if I'm gonna step the age up a few years, I could also then say things like these:

"Well, I work out religiously to maintain my girlish figure!"
(That's a total lie unless watching TV counts as working out.)

"I eat only the healthiest of foods and drink tons of water."
(If they know me at all, they'll know this is a lie.)

"I make sure to ALWAYS get my beauty sleep - 8 hours EVERY night."
(Ha! I wish!)

"I never, ever, EVER go out in the sun without my SPF80 sunscreen."
(I hate sunscreen. GREASY, yuck!)

"I live in a stress-free, zen-filled home with constant aromatherapy with perfect children."
(Puh-leeeze!)

Or my personal favorite...

I found the fountain of youth!
(*grunt*)

So come on ladies --- what are your TRUE ages. I told y'all mine!

25 comments:

  1. I'm 18 with 23 years practice. Thought life ended at 18 when I was a kid.

    If only I knew what it would be like to be so emotionally 'comfortable in my own skin', sagging as it is, I would have wanted to get here quicker.

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  2. Just had my...dare I say 38th Birthday. I do feel old. THis cough has made me feel like i have aged 10 years in the last month. Ugh
    Still haven't found a computer solution so if I am MIA...please forgive.

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  3. I hear ya girl! I am 33 years young....soon to be 34 in September.

    Already have gray hair, tons of stretch marks and laugh lines too!

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  4. I too am 36... I told people that when I hit 30 I began counting backwards, but at that point I wasn't even in a relationship.... now I say your theory works. I'd look damn good if people thought I was 56!

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  5. I'm 42....it didn't phase me until people started acting like it was soooo old! I'm 42 and proud! ;)My husband is almost 45...he wears it well!

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  6. I love reading all these blogs and feel right at home with ALL of you, but you all are pups! I'm 44 and never felt old until I read how young you all are - and I'll be 45 in Nov. OK, where are the blogs for old people??? Wait, wait, wait - I'll be your mentors...the old, wise mom that's already lived through playground duty and only-store-bought bake sales! There you go, I feel better now. When I started reading the post I thought, 'Man, she looks like a young version of Katie Couric and/or Meredith Viera'. I bet you could get a job as a newscaster. Have a good one ~

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  7. NO WAY....U can not possibly be 56. You look 26! If you are 56 you got "all" of the fountain of youth....there is none left for the rest of us.
    Andrea

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  8. I just turned 37...love your outlook on telling ages!! :D

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  9. Fun post...but so true! I am a proud 36! And I have lots of gray hair and baby wieght (from 8 years ago) and laugh lines and stretch marks!!! But you said it, I feel as though they are my badges of accomplishments! And I wouldn't have it any other way! Except the gray hair...I started turning gray at 17...the women in my family turn gray prematurely *sigh*
    I think you look GREAT!

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  10. I can not believe that you are getting everyone to actually tell their ages. I think that is great! It is time we be honest with ourselves and others. Anyway, I never hid my age. You can find it on my profile and any time. I am a young mommy of 5 kids ranging from 16 months to almost 16 and I am 43. I don't feel any older than I ever have. Unless, someone says, "Oh MY GOSH, YOU ARE 43! then I think, "Is that bad?"

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  11. You look fabulous at 56! ;o) Me...I'm jealous that you are 5'9"

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  12. Where do I file a harassment complaint on this blog? Erica's after my real age. :o)

    Really...I have no problem with my age. I'm 48 and feel fabulous about it. I have my sags and bags and wrinkles and a few gray hairs, but I'm not stressing over it as I would if I were 28 or even 38. The number sounds old to me, but the way I feel tells me the truth about MY 48.

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  13. Good heavens, I'm the oldest one to comment so far...I'm 52!

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  14. You are right...I ran through the blog so quickly this morning...I missed that part. I was trying to read them all before everyone was ready to go out for the day. SORRY!
    I am 43 and feel about 96! You look soooo young no matter how old you are!
    andrea

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  15. I tell Mom that strech marks are battle scars. Sounds alot better right? Oh, and I have it on all of you I am 13 and have strech marks *ahem* battle scars from knee surgery 2 years ago.

    Now that you take pride in telling people you age you need to work on taking pride in telling them you weight...;)

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  16. I am 33 hitting 34 in November! I love the idea of adding to your age, genius! Somedays I feel 24 other days 64, depends on how tired I am!
    Love Collette xxx

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  17. OK... I got 37 here... and pride myself on working out, eating right, and still being overweight. Or something like that. I have been blessed with my mother's families good skin. 7 kids and 37 years and people often mistake me for a sister to my daughters.

    But really, I get sick of hearing oh, really. Those are YOUR kids. You look good for having all those kids. Like a mom of my age with a bunch of kids should be fat and wrinkled and gray.

    But you have a good point. Maybe I should start adding a few years...then people would really be impressed.

    I think the heat is getting to me... I am not sure I am making sense anymore:)

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  18. Now aren't you clever! You got all of those women to tell you their real age! hmmmm...I do like the idea of having more wisdom...so let me tell you the truth. I am not a day younger than 50! :>)

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  19. You know I'm almost 30 in 15 days. I am trying to not dwell on it though. Still doesn't make me happy talking about it. I don't think I look (almost) 30 and really only "see" myself as 25.

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  20. Um, yikes...I am looking forward to my 34th in October, but because I feel older and probably look older, I truly tell people I'm 35 already, because I forget! Memory loss! Oh well...You do look great!

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  21. Well, bummer, I was looking for Nan´s comment and age. LOL...

    Well, I am a young spry of 33 years turning 34 this August. Some days I feel 18 some I feel 56! That was so funny Erica! I think I may try it.. say.. hey I´m about 48. Then watch their faces. I tell everyone though that I am still 18. LOL

    But then my last 12 years of marriage have been the best years yet and I have had a great life to live for Jesus! Every year we get closer to our Lord. So let´s just say our age with confidance!

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  22. 30. I'll be 31 soon. So hard to believe!! Saying that out loud makes me think I'm getting old, but I really don't feel it and I certainly don't act it!! I say my true age is about 22!! LOL

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  23. This makes total sense to me E! I guess next year I should celebrate my 4oth. People told me the next 10 years would really go by fast. :o)

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  24. oh dear. i feel like a 'baby'. i'm 26. for real! lol. the other day i was at burger king, and a girl i know asked if i got my hair cut. i said yes. she said it's cute. makes you look younger!?!?!?!?!? WHAT?! so that means i look like a high schooler with four kids or what? guess i should quit getting my hair cut.

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  25. Me too... I HATE SUNSCREEN! I don't use it on me, and it is rare that I even put it on Reagan!

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