HEIGHT: 5' 9"
WEIGHT: How dare you!
Yep..... fifty-six ----- 56!
And don't I look great?
Okay, so I'm really only 36, but hear me out!
Most women I know tend to want to lie about their age. For some reason they want people to think they're younger than they actually are. WHY? I mean if you've got crows feet starting to form, gray hairs starting to sprout out on the top of your head, facial hair that needs a'plucking, and your arm is still waving 5 seconds after your hand stops waving... why would you want people to think you're YOUNGER with these problems? I guess we are supposed to think younger is better? I don't! I worked hard for every one of these gray hairs, and I smiled so much that I got these laugh-lines, and the babies that gave me these stretch-marks were worth every single zebra-striped one of 'em.
When asked my age I tell the truth actually. I'm proud of my age. It's what I am. BUT if I were going to fudge the numbers just a little bit, I would prefer to lie up to 56 rather than down to 26. Think about it. Why would I want to say I'm 26, only to have the "asker" secretly thinking, "Wow, she looks a bit old for 26." Now they'd never say it to my face, but they'd think it. Yes-sir-ee-Bob, they'd think it!
So if they ask my age and I say FIFTY-SIX, then imagine their thought process. "Wow, she looks FABULOUS for 56!" Yea, I like that better! Just think, they'd start asking me what my "secrets" are. And if I'm gonna step the age up a few years, I could also then say things like these:
• "Well, I work out religiously to maintain my girlish figure!"
(That's a total lie unless watching TV counts as working out.)
• "I eat only the healthiest of foods and drink tons of water."
(If they know me at all, they'll know this is a lie.)
• "I make sure to ALWAYS get my beauty sleep - 8 hours EVERY night."
(Ha! I wish!)
• "I never, ever, EVER go out in the sun without my SPF80 sunscreen."
(I hate sunscreen. GREASY, yuck!)
• "I live in a stress-free, zen-filled home with constant aromatherapy with perfect children."
Or my personal favorite...
• I found the fountain of youth!
So come on ladies --- what are your TRUE ages. I told y'all mine!