Nobody Ever Told Me.......

Nobody ever told me......

......that I would have two chins when I was pregnant and ankles the size of a small continent.

......that the word "mom" would both thrill and exhaust me someday, depending on the circumstances and the time of night, how tired I was and how many times it was repeated.

......that children cannot hear you the first 12,000 times you say no.

......that you should NOT buy a puppy when you are experiencing baby-itis (aka wanting to have another baby).

......that you can gain 25-50 pounds during pregnancy (or more) and then you give birth to a 7 or so pound baby. What about the rest of it? Where does it go? Does that seem fair to you?

......that you can still be carrying baby weight when your baby is 16.....years, not months. Again, does that seem fair to you?

......that you would not flinch at somebody wiping their nose on your sleeve, your shoulder, or even your hand if it's available.

......that you would someday lick your thumb and try to clean something off of your husband's face, much to his horror.

......that you would actually swap birth stories with a group of women while eating, for goodness sake!!!!

......that playing a rousing game of who-changed-the-last-poopy-diaper with your husband would be such an argument starter. Who knew?

......that you would be wearing maternity clothes home from the hospital as well as into the hospital.

......that asking for an epidural the minute you walk into the hospital, in labor, is only good for a laugh as far as your doctor is concerned.

Who knew being a mom would be so entertaining?!

Ever The Devoted Blogger...

We regret to inform you that the regularly scheduled Monday post will not be seen today.

You see, Erica our Monday Correspondent is away on a very tiny, but much needed vacation an excursion in search of fabulous blog material just for you - her viewing public!

For her own sanity you, she embarks on a dangerously awesome adventure a simple road trip visiting her older sister & her family a small tribe deep in the depths of the jungles of Africa North Texas. She is making the trip with Cam & Riley a team of qualified assistants at her side. While on her journey, she will surely encounter dangerous waters a pool in the backyard, torrential weather more Texas heat, and ferocious animals goats, chickens, rabbits, dogs, & other farm critters.

Putting her viewer's interests before her own safety, she will be risking her life nah, not really in order to capture great material for you as she camps amongst the tribal natives stays at her sister's house. She will be joined by other colleagues her dad and step-mom who will be making the harsh five-hour journey with her and her assistants on camel back in her dad's car.

But have no fear don't be jealous --- for your Monday Mama lil' ol' me! will return to her regularly scheduled time and place next Monday.

For more on this story as it unfolds, feel free to visit her private blog over at Scottsville. She will be attempting to give updates as the journey unfolds. It should also have a full update of her trip tomorrow morning!

But for now, please pray for her safe return try not to MISS ME !!!

Let Us Pray

We Bloggers can PLAY together, so why not also PRAY together?!

We Five Moms are spending our Sundays with our families and will not be responding to all of your prayer requests, but just know that we can ALL view them and we can ALL take the time to pray for one another's requests.

Join us if you'd like by leaving your prayer request or praise as a comment!

Some Saturday Silliness

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Who cares!? I long for the day that a chicken can cross the road without his motives coming into question. ~Erica

Q: How come the possum can't even get to the other side????? ~ Nan

How come people call you a chicken when you're too scared to do something? The chicken wasn't a chicken when it crossed the road. I think that was pretty brave of the chicken- Miti

Why do we call it a ponytail and two ponytails are called pigtails? Did I miss something? Do pigs have two tails? I'm just sayin...~Mimi


I've always wondered why we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? English language...not one bit confusing~Tarah


What happened to the B batteries?~Mimi


How come the hair on our legs will only grow so far and then it stops growing, whereas the hair on our heads can grow and grow? How come I am even asking this question? ~ Nan


How come men can grow hair on their legs with no problem but lose the hair on their heads? How come I seem to be obsessed with leg hair today? ~ Nan


Why do they put braille on the drive thru ATM machines? ~Mimi


Egg Rolls and not really Eggs Rolled? In fact they are fried dough stuffed with vegetables and meat...does this make sense? ~Tarah


A joke from QB...What do pirates like to eat??? Arrrrrrby's ~ Tarah & QB


I am a homeschooling mom. Do you know what a homeschooling mom does at a parent-teacher conference? We talk to ourselves in the mirror. ~ Nan


I was a homeschooled kid! Did you know that in my class, I was Class Clown, Valedictorian, Most Likely To Succeed, AND Least Likely To Succeed? How cool is that? ~Erica


Erica, I guess you have no embarrassing school pictures because your Mom forgot it was picture day and dressed you in a Betty Boop shirt & forgot to comb your hair? No wait...that was Me & my Mom. ~Mimi


Just like Erica my kids are/were homeschooled. When my oldest graduated he was at the top of his class and the bottom of his class. I graded on a curve..... ~ Nan


Nan, did you ever buy yourself gifts for teacher appreciation day? It is actually a week long celebration...if not, you should write that into your lesson plans for next year! I'm just sayin...any excuse to get gifts right? ~Mimi


Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
And only God
can make a tree.
(Yea, I know... doesn't rhyme a bit! That's why it's silly!) ~ Erica


"And so I sez to myself....self? I sez......." Yup, sometimes I find myself talking to myself. Then I find myself talking to myself telling myself that I am talking to myself. As if I'm not aware of it. The sad thing is, sometimes even I don't listen to me. ~ Nan


So that's what a homeschool parent-teacher conference sounds like. Interesting. - Miti


Don't worry Nan. We don't listen to you either! ~AnonEmous =0)


Wishing that chicken would cross the road and go leave a "gift" on Erica's front porch, lol! ~ Nan

Have a GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY!
~♥ The 5 Moms

Survey Says...

Survey says that...

•9 out of 10 Moms Have let the TV Babysit their kids every now & then. We need a shower, right? Am I right? Who's with me?

•9 out of 10 Moms Have feed their kids snacks & called it a meal. Guilty as charged.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have kissed a baby bottom because they got a boo boo on it & kisses make everything feel better. What? You know you have...you are just to embarrassed to admit it.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have called their Moms for advice, in the middle of the night. Only 3 times so far. Once per child is a good average right?

•9 out of 10 Moms Have gotten peed on. Moms with boys hear me loud & clear.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have turned the Radio up in the car to drowned out the noise of their children.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have given something up to blog...I choose cleaning, anyone else?

•9 out of 10 Moms Have argued with a 3 year old.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have lost said argument. They got my number & know how to push my buttons.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have traded in their sports car for a Mini Van. Check out Old Jalopy.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have tried to reason with a 10 Month Old.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have skipped words when reading a story...for the tenth time.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have tried to sneak a treat without their child knowing & gotten busted by said child. Seriously, mine can hear a candy wrapper from 3 rooms away.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have sneezed & almost peed their own pants. Always carry a spare pair.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have visited every public restroom while running errands. Gross!

•9 out of 10 Moms Have bribed their kids to behave. Snacks work best.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have made at least 1 empty threat. More like hundreds. I hate when I do that!

•9 out of 10 Moms Have given in because it was just easier. Pick your battles before they start. Good advice, I should take myself.

•9 out of 10 Moms Have a stretch mark or ten...My super hero name would be Zebra Woman. I'm just sayin!

•9 out of 10 Moms Have hired a babysitter just to keep their sanity. Thanks Mom!

•9 out of 10 Moms Have caught themselves singing a kids song when the kids weren't even around. You know what I am talking about...Kids Bop & HSM. Please. You know you are some singing fools.

Lastly...

•9 out of 10 Moms look at that 1 Supermom & wish they could be just like her, but are thankful that there are 8 other Moms in the same boat as them.

I am so glad to be that 1 Supermom you are all admiring...Just Kidding!

Now who is in the same boat as me?

I Blew It!

Dearly Beloved Bloggers,

How many of you have done things just to see a smile on your little ones face? Yup, just as I thought. We're all guilty as charged. How can we help it? They give us those little eyes and pout those little pouts and we can't help but melt. Yesterday, I gave in. To what, you may ask.

TO THIS.

Yes, I traded in a smaller pool for this 120" x 7o" monster. And yes, I huffed and puffed and blew it up all by my purple lipped lonesome. What was I thinking?!! The smaller pool was looking really good by the time I finished with this bad boy. It took a total of 3 hrs. to manually blow this sucker up. But I guess I'm the sucker, am I right?!! Luckily, I was home alone with my little guy when it occurred to me that this would be a great way to spend the day, just the two of us taking in the summer rays in our luxurious inflatable pool. I don't think I would've been able to get the job done and put anybody else through the torture of watching me gasping for air and gagging in the process. Let me tell you, it was not pretty! I guess you could say the torture was ALL MINE! Every gag was followed by a little voice asking me, "Mommy, what is it? Are you o.k.?" Oh, and do ya hear that? (POP) (POP) (POP) That's my jaw trying to recover. But to answer his question, I'm fine and I made it through. And it was all well worth the air-ffort (hehehehe).


P.S. : I must say, I was pretty proud to see all my hot air being put to good use. Come see for yourself at Pieces of Me.

NOTE: (Please disregard the bathing beauties in this pic. Unfortunately, that's not me with my girls and I have no idea who they are. But they are lovely, aren't they?!!)

Cooking Week +Word Verifications = Funny

Have you ever turned on a channel that is cooking related and wondered what the heck they are talking about? I know I have for sure.

I am a BAKER by love but a chef, I am NOT!!!

This week, take a peek at the funny little "Cooking" words that word verification has DICED up for me

(and perhaps for some of you too)!

Oventif (Oven-Tif)

Ah, the proverbial definition between my oven and myself. We are always having a tif...a burned cinnamon roll, an overcooked casserole..he just doesn't like me some days. Although, sometimes he is on the same temperature as I am, making me lovely Thanksgiving turkeys and beautiful pies and cookies. So, maybe it is not a Tif but a Spat!!

Cruked (Crook-ed)

This is what my lovely little guy says when he asks me to make chicken fingers. He would like me to Cruked them in the oven..not the microwave. In case you were wondering, he IS The Naked Chef

(go ahead and click...it is CLEAN, I promise!) *

Smoldeyup (Smoldey-Up)

OK, so this one might be a little embarrasing on my part but yes, in the cooking arena I have had a couple of things that have been Smoldeyup. This is where your entire dish goes up into flames and we are NOT just talking about a little charring on the side..I am talking about accidentally putting plastic saran wrap in a 425 degree oven and watching the flames in sue!!! Ahhh. Of course this was WAY before blogging or I would have an AWESOME pic to show you guys! Whats your Smoldeyup story?

Messtobe (Mess-To-Be)

Word verification really knows how to air my dirty cooking stories...

+

=

Long story short....This was a MESSTOBE for sure! Nothing says "cooking" like your 2 year old opening the hot oven and sticking a whole can of unopened re fried beans into the oven and then NEVER telling you that he did it so 20 minutes go by and your STOVE DOOR blows off, you think you are dying and your little guy says..."I was helping you cook mommy". Yeah.....

What will the theme be next week...;)

*I think I might be the 1st of the 5 moms to actually drag a photo of a child over to this blog. It WILL NOT be a regular occurrence. I just could not pass up the opportunity since it was in the theme! Thanks for playing along!

...AND THEN YOU HAVE YOUR SECOND ONE...

It is very strange how you change between your first child and your second child. With the second you are more relaxed in your parenting, calmer, not quite so stressed about things....more low-key. For example:

With a first child you sterilize everything!

With a second child you figure, hey, a little dirt never hurt anybody!

With a first child if the pacifier falls on the floor, you immediately replace it with a clean one.

With a second child you either pop it into your mouth a second, blow on it to "blow" all the germs away, or just pop it back into baby's mouth, germs and all.

With a first child you run over there the minute he/she falls, anxiously saying "Are you o.k.? Did you hurt anything? Are you o.k????? Do you want a cookie?"

With a second child you look at them and say "There's very little blood and no broken bones, you're fine, go play now!"

With a first child you put a bandaid on anything, no matter how small. Sometimes several.

With a second child you wipe away the blood and weigh the size of the wound versus the cost of a bandaid.

With a first child, you tell them no, and then you tell them no again, and then no for a third time.

With a second child you tell them no, and then wonder if it's kind of like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped.

With a first child you are very careful of candy, pop or snacks and they may not taste their first piece of candy until they are three, or older.

With the second child they have their first taste of candy at a very young age, compliments of their older brother or sister.

A first child knows their name.

A second child thinks their name is "Hey you, yes you!"

With a first child, you carefully monitor how much t.v. they're watching and how much sugar they are eating.

With a second child, you set them down next to their sibling, while they eat their sugared cereal and watch a t.v. program, hoping you can get in a shower before the commercial comes on and they lose interest.

With a first child you very carefully potty train them.

With a second child you say "Look what your brother can do!"

With a first child you look at the crayon mural on the wall and sigh as you clean it up.

With a second child you look at the crayon mural on the wall and call it "Art."

With a first child, you very carefully and tastefully select their clothes every day.

With a second child you're just happy if they leave the house dressed, who cares if it matches?

With a first child you call them by their name.

With a second child you call them everyone's name but their own, up to and including the dog's name.

A first child will answer only to their own name.

A second child will answer to anything.

With a first child, if they break their toy you say "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll buy you a new one!"

With a second child if they break their toy you say "Ooops. Too bad!"

With a first child you wonder if you'll ever be able to love another child as fiercely as you love your first.

With a second child you realize your heart has more than enough love for as many children as God gives you!

Flashbacks in the Texas Heat

Every year when summer arrives, I find myself climbing into a hot, hot vehicle in our Texas heat, and EVERY SINGLE YEAR I torture myself by closing the doors and sitting there in the heat for a moment... feeling the heat that is so hot that my breath is literally taken away.

Why do I do this? Why would someone intentionally do this to themself?

It goes back to the year 2002. We had recently moved to our home here where we live now... and we still had a double-wide that we were trying to sell back in our old town about an hour away. We'd occasionally travel there to mow the grass, fix up little things that needed to be done, etc.

On one particularly hot day, the whole family piled in the truck and headed up there to do a little maintenance work. The place was in the country on a half-acre of land. No trees.... Just dirt and rocks.

Three little boys ages 12, 10, and 5 were romping around, running in and out, and playing hard. One tiny little 2-year-old girl was right there in the midst of the boys - she was their shadow/their tag-along. All three boys were very good with Riley. She wasn't annoying yet, just cute, chubby and adorable. They doted on her. We didn't have to worry about cars as we were at a dead-end on a very country road.

I was inside painting trim boards. We had air conditioning, so my job wasn't bad... just time consuming and boring.

Outside, Jason whirled around the yard atop our riding lawn mower that we'd transported up there in the back of the truck. He was minding his own business, getting his job done. At one point as he made his way around the yard, he noticed that the truck door was open, so he swung by and shut the door. Afterall, we sure didn't need a dead battery when it was time to head back home.

What he didn't know was that one little boy had forgotten a toy in the truck. He climbed in, got the toy, and little sister climbed in after him. One little boy climbed back out assuming little sister would follow. He went on to play. She stayed in the truck.

This would be about the time that Jason rode by and saw the truck door open.

Praise God, as Jason continued mowing, his eyes were drawn to a tiny, red-faced little girl standing on the truck seat, crying her little eyes out. He jumped off the mower and rushed to the truck where he grabbed her burning little body out and rushed her indoors to me. Her face was so red. Her body was so hot.

The guilt I felt that day for not even realizing that she wasn't right with the boys.... the guilt of not even realizing she was missing... the guilt Jason felt for shutting that door... the "what if's" raced through our heads. I couldn't let it go!!! I sat down on the floor over one of the floor-vents, rocked her in my arms as she cried, and I just felt numb! It was one of the worst feelings I've ever felt!!!

And to this day, 7 years later, I still find myself climbing into hot vehicles and closing the door... staring straight ahead... remembering that day and what she must've gone through. I sit there til it takes my breath away. I still feel that horrible guilt of "How could I have not noticed she wasn't still with her brothers!" We're not sure how long she was actually in there, but in 100 degree weather, she couldn't have survived much longer.

Why do I still shut myself in a car as a form of punishment to myself? Why can't I just be thankful that God made Jason see her when he did? She's nine now and has absolutely no memory of it whatsoever. But I do. I wish I could forget!

*sigh*

I think every family has 'that kid' that continually gives them scares. Riley has been 'that kid' in our family. This is not the ONLY time in her life that she'd just about given me a heart attack, but we'll save those for another time. But in the picture of her above, you can see some marks on her face from another incident involving sharp rocks, a ladder, and ugggh. Yes, she's given me lots of my gray hairs!

So does anyone else have a "Mommy Moment" that you can't let go of... where you have felt like such a huge failure? Or is it just me???

Let Us Pray

We Bloggers can PLAY together, so why not also PRAY together?!

We Five Moms are spending our Sundays with our families and will not be responding to all of your prayer requests, but just know that we can ALL view them and we can ALL take the time to pray for one another's requests.

Join us if you'd like by leaving your prayer request or praise as a comment!

I'll Never Do That!!!

"I will NEVER do that when I grow up! NEVER!"

Yeah, right!

• When I was a kid... if we bit our tongues while at the dinner table, my dad would always say "Don't eat your tongue! There's plenty of food still!" I never found it funny when I was in pain. I would NEVER say that to my kids.... or else my 17 year old might have said it BACK to me this week when I bit my tongue. I was mad at myself for teaching him that bratty little phrase. How could I become my father like that? ~Erica

• I would never tell my kids, "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about." Nope. Not I. What kind of mom tells that to her kids? Oh wait a minute, that's right....A FRUSTRATED one. ~Miti

• I would never spit on something and wipe off my kid's face when they were little. I didn't like it when my mom did it to me and I certainly wouldn't do it to my kids. Yeah, right. ~ Nan

• I would never tell my kids that they are a better door than a window...that is the lamest saying ever and my mom repeated it like 10,000 times in my childhood... I have to remind myself every time "Child, can you please move so mommy can see the BIGGER screen than the one she types on"? Thanks....~ Tarah

• I would never let the TV watch my kids...Mommy has to get a shower sometime people. ~Mimi

• I would never answer a "Why?" question with "Because I said so, that's why." Nope, my kids would always get a nice, long, lengthy explanation. Oops, blew this one too. ~ Nan

• I would never tell my kids "You've got enough toys." You could NEVER have ENOUGH toys, right? Ah....WRONG! ~ Miti

• I would never wipe my kids nose on my pants...that is just plain gross and I always said to my husband, if you catch me doing that lock me up...well, from the looks of things, I should be serving 10-20 cuz boo-gars are all over this MOMS drawers. ~ Tarah

•I would never spit on my fingers to clean my kids faces...Cause that is just gross, but I can't let my messy face kids be seen in public, so spit be a flying in an emergency!~Mimi

• I would never have coffee as a meal...I promised myself and I still do it like 4 days a week...~Tarah

• I would never spit clean my kids either. NO WAY! YUCK! ~ Miti

• I would never lose my imagination. I was going to be that cool mom that PLAYED BARBIES and built forts and climbed trees with my kids. Imagination? GONE with the winds of time!!!! ~ Erica

• I would never tell my kids about "The Good Ole Days" because they wouldn't get it anyways & that would make me be just like my parents that walked uphill both ways to school.~Mimi

• I would never spend all day slaving in the kitchen over a meal while the family is off having fun! Oh wait, I actually NEVER DO THAT! My bad. ~ Erica =0)

•I would never let my kids drink Iced Coffee because it would stunt their growth & I didn't start drinking coffee until I was 34 years old. What kind of Mom would do that?~Mimi

• I would never let my kids drink pop or eat candy, because I never eat or drink it myself....you believe me, right, right? (You shouldn't, lol!) :-) ~ Nan

• I would never not make a homemade meal...McDonalds count...RIGHT? RIGHT? ~ Tarah

• I would never, ever say "because I said so," either Nan. Why? Well, because I said so, that's why. YEAH RIGHT!! This has come to be one of my favorite saying these days. Oh, nothing like a 3yr old to make you turn into your mom. ~Miti

~ ♥ The 5 Moms

An Oldie But Goodie!

Come & take a ride in my Old Jalopy. I can pick you up anytime you want. You will love the smooth & quiet ride of my 2001 Chevy Venture Mini Van.

It is an unforgettable experience!

When I arrive to pick you up, you are sure to hear me getting out of the Van to ring your door bell because all 4 doors squeak when opened. I will get some WD-40, I promise. No worries, the doors will stay on their hinges while driving. I haven't lost any passengers yet.

You may want to bring ear plugs if you are easily startled, because the gas gauge spontaneously starts loudly dinging to alert me that I am almost out of gas even though I filled up yesterday. I seriously have a Heart Attack every car ride because that thing dings unexpectedly. I also see the gas gauge needle pulse back & forth between full & empty every ride. It can't make up its mind, & it sure plays tricks on mine. Again...no worries, I have never run out of gas & I have AAA, in case I ever do.

During the ride you may want to hold onto your hair pieces, hats & other loose articles, because we love to cruise with the windows rolled down in the summer time, enjoying the beautiful wind blowing in our faces...well really because the AC is broken & hasn't worked for 2 summers, but who is counting? I just wish we had a dog, so someone could appreciate the ride. The rest of us bring along hair brushes & hats to try & hide the wind blown do we receive upon arrival to our destinations. It ain't pretty, but we sure look unique!

While you are fixing your wind blown do, I will be using those extra minutes to roll up my drivers side window. The power windows work, but it gets off track & stuck somewhere in the middle & needs my guidance to roll itself the rest of the way up. I cannot leave them rolled down either, because there are a lot of people in the world eyeballing this Burgundy Beauty that I am driving & they may try to steal her if I leave the windows down & the doors unlocked.

I mean seriously, who wouldn't want a Mini Van that has a working engine? I'm just sayin...

If you need to borrow my Old Jalopy, you should be 5'7 & have a 33 inch inseam because Agent broke my drivers seat so it no longer is adjustable...feel free to contact me if you fit this description & need an awesome set of wheels...

but remember when you borrow the van not to put two drinks in the drink holder because it will collapse under the weight & they will spill. BIG FUN!

She has a few rust spots that give her character...but the engine purrs!

Did I mention she was paid off?

And that I am planning on driving Old Jalopy until the wheels fly off & the engine screams for mercy!

Dave Ramsey would be so proud!

What is your prize possession?

Just Face It!

Dearly Beloved Bloggers,

Isn't it funny how you grow up with the same group of kids throughout your whole childhood? Then with a switch of the tassel those familiar faces disappear and everyone goes their separate ways. You promise to keep in touch, but eventually that promise is broken and you loose site of those you grew so close to all those years.

I, myself, thought I would always have my BFF to talk to. After all, we had been BFFs since the 5th grade! It was ONLY natural that we'd remain BFFs. Right?!! WRONG!! We haven't talked in YEARS. Not because there's any bad blood (I hope), but because time has led us down different paths.

And just as our friendship faded, so did my friendships with all my childhood schoolmates. Thirteen years of friendships gone just like that. I couldn't wait til my high school reunion. What had everyone done with their lives? Did they get married? Do they have kids? Are they living the life they dreamed of? Well, I waited....and waited......and waited. No sign of a reunion. No...how is that possible?!! No high school reunion!! I'm not gonna lie. I was a tad bit devastated. Oh well, life went on (for two years). Then I heard about this little thing called Facebook. Hmmmm....isn't this nifty. So, I put my face out there and much to my surprise so did many of my good o' friends. Come to find out, the 10 year reunion had gone on without me! I KNOW!! Now, I was REALLY devastated. Sad? Maybe, but I was just curious of how every one's lives had turned out. But never mind the party, now I can open up my laptop and have a reunion in the comfort of my home thanks to the nifty Facebook.

So, have you put your face out there?
Don't be a stranger.
Face it!
There must be someone you're wanting to catch up with.

P.S. The girl formally known as my BFF still remains to be found. :o(

WVW- Feet that make you go Ewww?

Another week...another crazy word montage.

No thanks to anything that I have done on my own....

this is all the handy work of those crazy blogs we all call home!

Toedurtee (Toe-Dirty)

What are you telling me Word Verification???

I mean just because I spend 5 nights a week at the baseball field does NOT

give you the right to tell me that my feet are dirty!

I guess I might just be offended enough to go buy a NEW pair of shoes..Sheesh.


Mustown (Must-Own)

submitted by: Rachel

Since he is telling me that my Toedurtee, I Mustown a spanking new pair of these:

Now yes, I realize that these might NOT be practical for a mother of 2 but SO WHAT!

They are awesome and TOTALLY out of my budget.

Its all Word Verifications fault and maybe Rachels for submitting this LOL !!!


Polish (Polish)

Now he is giving me authorization to get a pedicure! Some days I just love Word Verification, I mean one day he is calling me pantstight and the next day Polish your Toedurtee blogger girl;)

Havana (Havaiana)

Well OK so, I might have completely changed the word to work in with my theme but have any of you ever tried Havaiana's???? They are soo awesome and Word Verification knows it! He has been telling me to order a new pair and these are the ones on the list;)

Slippher (Slip Her) (Slipper)

Now at first I thought what a mean Word Verification to Slippher something in her diet coke (unless we are talking about sleeping pills..he can ALWAYS slipher me one of those)!

But, in the spirit of the theme...I realized that he just meant Slipper...he wants me to relax in my slippers. So thoughful this Word Verification man is, after he has treated me to my MUSTOWN Dolce and Gabbana's, then pampered me with my POLISH(ed) nails, he now wants me to be carefree in a pair of these bad boys...

Maybe Word Verification and I got off on the wrong FOOT,

but obviously he is trying to fix that! I accept your apology Word Verification......

"You had me at hello Toedurtee!!"

YOU SAY/THEY HEAR:

Testing....testing.....is this thing on? Sometimes I think that, I know that, children have selective hearing. My kids could not hear me asking them to please pick up their ______ and put it away when I was standing right next to them.

However, if my husband called me and asked if I wanted him to bring pizza home for dinner, my kids could hear that from three blocks away. With headphones on. At a football game. With 10,000 people screaming in their ear. While they were underwater. In the ocean. Which is not three blocks away.

A child's hearing is filtered from one ear to the other. It's the strangest thing. Here are some helpful translations to help you understand what they're thinking if you are "in the trenches" with your kids:

You say "Please put your coat away"..........
They hear "No, really, just leave it on the floor."

You say "Dinner is ready!"
They hear "Dinner will be ready three hours from now."

You say "Please go into the bathroom and wash your muddy hands."
They hear "Please go and wipe your muddy hands all over my new, clean towels and be sure and don't use any water either."

You say "You don't look so good. Do you feel o.k.?"
They hear "Please throw up all over me."

You say "No!"
They hear "Of course you may! Just as long as you keep asking me over and over and be sure and throw a fit while you do it!"

You say "What were you thinking?"
They hear "??????????"

You say "Please go clean your room."
They hear "Please go play in your room."

You say "Please do not hit your brother."
They hear "Oh please hit your brother."

You say "Are you listening to me?"
They hear "....................." (please insert chirping birds and glazed over eyes, theirs, not yours)

You say "You need to go finish your homework."
They hear "Homework never did anybody any good."

You say "You need to go and take a bath."
They hear "Bath? Who needs a bath?"

You say "Please do not argue with me."
They hear "Argue? Oh man, I love it when you argue with me!"

You say "It's bedtime. Please go get ready."
They hear "From now on you can stay up as late as you want."

You say "I don't care what so-and-so gets to do, you're not doing it!"
They hear "...................." (please insert sound of birds chirping)

You say "No, you may not have a t.v., phone or computer in your room at your age."
They hear "We are going to be buying you your own house to live in, just for you!"

However, you will be happy to know that their hearing improves with age! A little, so don't get overly excited here.....

Get Ready - I'm On My Way!

So I keep thinking about traveling.

Then I got to thinking.... If I were to head across the great 50 states, do you think I could find a bloggy-friend to stay with in all 50 states? Let's see, we already have over 125 followers here..... so maybe I could!

Would that be weird? Okay, it might be weird with some.... yet I think I'd be SOOO comfortable with others. I already know some of these gals enough to know that they're my TWIN. I can think of a couple of blog-gals in particular that I could so be BFF's with!!! And man, if you ever got us together IRL, watch out world! We'd just chill by the pool, take pics of our kids, and be in blog-heaven! ha ha ha Someday we WILL meet up and we WILL have a blast!

But not so seriously... if I just started driving cross-country, who's gonna let me stay with them? What states are all of you in? Let's see if you 5M Addicts followers can get me from Alaska to Florida then up to Maine and all the way back to Hawaii! If you're from outside the US, let me know where you are, too. I've always wanted to travel abroad!

So start shouting out, Readers! Where are you from? Who's letting me hypothetically stay at their place? I've gotta start charting my course!

This image is clickable, so you can view it bigger and see your names on each of your states!!! Don't forget to drop back by and see how we did!

And when your doorbell rings, don't worry.... it's JUST ME! {{snicker}}

Let Us Pray

We Bloggers can PLAY together, so why not also PRAY together?!

We Five Moms are spending our Sundays with our families and will not be responding to all of your prayer requests, but just know that we can ALL view them and we can ALL take the time to pray for one another's requests.

Join us if you'd like by leaving your prayer request or praise as a comment!

Say It Ain't So! Saturday

• Say it ain't so that my summer clothes are a little to tight around my waist!!!! ~ Nan

•Say it ain't so that Tuesday is the day I move to level three on the 30 Day Shred...Say it ain't so! OUCH! ~ Mimi

• So when I gain weight, I don't get to pick where it goes? Say it ain't so! ~Erica

• M&M's really fit up a child's nose nicely....Say it ain't so! ~ Tarah

•So do bracelet making beads...Say it ain't so! ~ Mimi

• My sister jammed beans up her nose when she was little and they started to sprout!! LOL!! Say it ain't so!!! ~ Miti

• Christmas is only 195 days away. Say it ain't so!!! ~ Nan

• We'll be ringing in 2010 in ONLY 6 months...say it ain't so!!!! ~Miti

• So, I can't find my retaliation photo of Tarah and I won't spill my nickname until I have it...Say it ain't so! ~Mimi

• You mean to tell me that Speed Limits aren't merely "suggestions?" Say it ain't so! ~Erica

• Say it ain't so!! Being 8 months pregnant won't get you out of a speeding ticket! ~Miti

• So I am not the prettiest MOM blogger...WHAT? Say it ain't so!!! ~Tarah

• WHO THE HECK said that to you Tarah?.... uh... I mean..... Say it ain't so?! ~Erica

•Say it ain't so that the hanging flowers I bought on Wednesday are already dead. Say it ain't so for real ~ Mimi

• Say it ain't so that there are calories in chocolate! (That explains the summer clothes) ~ Nan

• They should make car mirrors out of rubber...to just bounce back when they hit the garage...Say it ain't so!!! ~Tarah

• Say it ain't so....now I've got that Weezer song stuck in my head. ~ Miti

• Me too... ♪ ♫ ♪♪ ~Erica


Happy Saturday!
~ ♥ The 5 Moms

Isn't It Ironic?

Are you singing that 1996 hit song from Alanis Morissette, yet? If not, you will be by the end of this post. I promise.

Parts of the song are in Bold! So sing along...you know you want to!

Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?

I have 10 toes & the 1 toe that has the ingrown nail is always the toe that everyone steps on? Ironic? Naaa, just super painful...yea yea

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right...

Your child gets a call for a TV commercial audition & the same night splits her forehead open...A little too Ironic? Don't you think? Yeah I really do think.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you...

Like when you sit down to use the potty in peace & the phone always rings...A funny, funny way of helping us out. Yea right, it's real funny trying to race for the phone half dressed!

It's like rain on your Weddin' Day...yea I wish! It was the hottest day of the summer in August 1997, both the air conditioner in the church & the reception hall broke down that day...We sure would have welcomed some Rain on my Weddin' Day! Right Tarah?

A little too Ironic...

But yet every time I wash my van it rains the next day...seriously, if we are ever in a drought, I will just wash my van. You're Welcome Michigan...And who would have thought? It figures...

It's a free ride when you've already paid...or buying something you want for full price & the next day getting a coupon in the mail. Life has a funny way of helping you out.

It's the good advice, that you just didn't take...

Anything ironic in your life?

Take my good advice...please...go visit Carrie over at Martin Manor & tell her Mimi sent you. You will love her blog!

Don't you think?

Dealings with a No-It-All

Dearly Beloved Bloggers,

Recently, I've been having to deal with a No-It-All. You know, the kind that says NO to EVERYthing.

Let me demonstrate a day in the life of the 3ft. tall
No-It-All......

ME: Let's eat breakfast/lunch/dinner.

NO-IT-ALL: NO, I want a snack.


ME: Let's go get a bath.
NO-IT-All: NO, I don't want to!! :o(


(arriving at the grocery store)
ME: We're here. Let's go get some groceries. :o)
NO-IT-ALL:
NO....I wanna stay in the CARrrrr!!!!!


ME: Let's go inside. The skeeters are gettin' us.
NO-IT-ALL:
NO.....NO.....NO..... AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!





ME: Let's go put jammies on.
NO-IT-ALL:
NOPE. (running away giggling)

And just today, I experienced the following at Chick-A-Donald's (aka McDonald's)....

ME: O.K, it's time to go to the library.
NO-IT-ALL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
(temper flaring on the FLOOR!)

GOOD GOLLY MS. MOLLY!!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!

Growing up, I was always a people pleaser, always wanting to please and never wanting to stirrup any trouble. Needless to say, dealing with a No-It-All is NOT my forte. I know the NOs are to be expected at the age of three, but will the madness ever end?!!!

Will he ever see the glass half full?

Will he ever turn lemons into lemonade?

Where's the silver lining?


How can I turn my little No-It-All into a Yes Man?

(The No-It-All is NOT a fictional character. He/she lives and breathes in homes all across world. Click here for exhibit #1).

Garage Sale Capers....Chapter One

We currently interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you an insane amount of useless information on garage sales...yes, I said it.

You heard correctly, I said INSANE garage sales antics.

Its a new trend, "The Neighborhood Sale". This is where MASS amounts of homes in your neighborhood sign up for what seems to be an innocent little -get rid of my junk sale- and before you know it, your address is given to mass amounts of people on a map. They drive for hours, just to get your kids old bike for $3.00 and when they get there and it is gone they go on a bartering spree that makes the strong weep. "No, I'm sorry, I can not sell you the car parked in front of my house, I realize that you like it but I just can't."

Even though your $15.00 offer is tempting, I have to pass.

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Things That Happened At My Garage Sale

10. A woman ripping a whole bunch of necklaces off a poster board full strength and then had the nerve to tell me that they are broken...Um, Yeah...YOU broke them!

9. The lady that "PARKED" in my driveway for a half an hour, I mean I just politely put my property tax statement on the windshield...since she lives here, she can chip in!

8. The older gentleman who asked me if I happened to have any guns for sale.

One minute, I'll be right back. I need to get the ammo.

7. Receiver actually saying to someone "You look tired and need to sit down. Your old. "

6. Someone bartered with me on a 50 cent item. And then paid with a $20.00 bill. WHAT?

5. A woman telling me that my brand new DVD's still in the plastic that were priced at $3.00 each was too close to retail and I should lower my prices.

4. The man who bought my bike trailer who placed his 2 children in it, and ran down the street with it and it WAS NOT attached to anything but his hand...Nah...that was not weird!

3. The FREE Bin..who knew that you could put ANYTHING in there and it would be gone, I might have put a baggie of leaves from my yard in there...

(I'm just sayin they were gone when I checked).

2. The garbage trucks that came through the "HOOD" on the 1st day and honestly hit about 3 cars ( I am not joking) they could not get through the streets. It was tooooooo tight... YIKES

1. Me, getting rid of more clothes, toys and junk than I ever thought I had..only to realize that I will do it again next year!

So tell me...Do you LOVE garage sales? What are your tales? Chapter Two is up to you!

TTYL: TO TIRED, YOU LEAD

Recently, Miti did a post on speaking in code to one another. At the end of it, she wrote TTYL.

Now being the know-it-all person that I am, I am to ashamed to admit that I didn't know what TTYL stands for, fun loving person that I am, I thought it might be fun to speculate what TTYL stands for.

So, does TTYL stand for Take That You Losers?

Maybe it's Tricky, Twisty, Youthful Yoga?

Or perhaps Ta Ta You Lakers?

Or Two Tigers, You Lose?

Or Terrible Twos You Love?

Perhaps it's Tame Teenagers Yonder, Look?

Or Tired Toddlers Yawn Laborously?

Maybe it's Tackled Teammates Yell Loudest?

Or Tell Truth You Liars?

Or Tiny Tadpoles Yucky Lunch?

How about Tiny Terriers Yap Loudly?

Perhaps it's Totally True, You're Lacking?

Is it Tailgating Taxis Yield Last?

Or Totally Taking Your Labradoodle?

Or Teenagers Talk, You Listen?

Could it be Trust Triumphs, Yellers Lose?

Or Trampled Tomatoes You Loathe?

Maybe it's Tall Tales You're Lying?

I know, maybe it's Totally Twittering. Yipeee! Listen!

Come you guys, let me in on the secret!!!!!!! What are your silly ideas? TTYL means.....?

Welcome To TEXAS!

So I know you aren't all from Texas. Duh?! But I am! And if you're FROM Texas, you have a sense of PRIDE about this Lone Star State.

I know... you all just yawned. I heard it! But give me a chance here!

Let me tell you a few great things about Texas that may just make you ♥ it too! I'm sure y'all will wanna jump right on in the ol' pick-up truck and come visit me when you're done reading 'this here' post. (Like my Texas Twang?) So here ya go!

In Texas....

• Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

• If it grows, then it pokes! And I really do hate Bull Nettle! And so do my feet --- I'm allergic!

• We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer, & Christmas. Good thing I love SUMMER!!! ...and Christmas!

• 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'gettin' a little warm.'

• We greet each other with a big "Howdy!"

• There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth... and I think only 4,998 live in Texas.

• If it crawls, then it bites, pinches, or stings! Yea, we find scorpions IN our house regularly... often ON us... or our guests. No joke! In fact, I have a "scorpion counter" up on my personal blog's sidebar just to keep count! Woo hoo! You're getting excited now, aren't ya?

• 'Fixinto' is one word.
Example: "I'm fixinto go to the store."

• You carry jumper cables in your car . . . FOR your own car.

• There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco & ketchup. (...but I hate ketchup!)

• You measure distance in hours. Like it's 5 hours from San Antonio to Dallas .

• It's very common to have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day. We do it alllllll the time!

• Iced tea is appropriate for ALL meals, and you start drinking it when you're about two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

• There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of 'em live in Texas. And I'll hold one if ya dare me!

...And my hubby's even been bit by the dreaded brown recluse! He even survived to tell about it! His leg is slightly uglier now, but hey? Men love scars!


• 'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!

• "Djeet" is actually a phrase meaning 'Did ya eat?' Last week, Laura used this in a comment --- and I was like "Hey, I was gonna use that!" So I went to her blog, and wouldn't ya know... she's from Texas, too!! No wonder! =0)

• We know what the word "tump" means --- and how and when to use it! Do you?

• We know what it means to give a friend a 'pump' on your bicycle. It has nothing to do with airing up the tires either!

• We install security lights on our house & garage and then leave both unlocked. Go figure?!

• Yes, Friday night high school football games are serious football!

• Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' to Wally-World."

• A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, a cola, or a pop. . . . it's a coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke do y'all want?'

• We don't need no stinkin' driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive. (okay, not legally, but it's funny!)

• Not everyone washes their clothes.... some people, like me for example, WARSH them!

• And the most important thing we learn growing up in Texas is... IN GOD WE TRUST!!!

I'm proud to be a true TEXAS girl!

SO now who wants to be the first to come and visit me??? Come on now, not everyone at once!
=0)

Let Us Pray

We Bloggers can PLAY together, so why not also PRAY together?!

We Five Moms are spending our Sundays with our families and will not be responding to all of your prayer requests, but just know that we can ALL view them and we can ALL take the time to pray for one another's requests.

Join us if you'd like by leaving your prayer request or praise as a comment!

Some Saturday Quirkiness

We Moms are totally and completely normal. Well, except for the slight possible cases of "Mom Brain" or "C.C.D". We're just your average, everyday, normal, run-o-the-mill moms! So maybe we have a quirk or two. No big deal, right? Right!

• I have to sleep with a glass of water next to my bed. I just like to be prepared, people! ~ Nan

•I cannot go to sleep with a messy house. I will stay up all hours to at least have it picked up & things put in their proper places...lunches packed, clothes laid out...ect. I would really like to kick it & just sleep for a change. Sheesh! ~Mimi

• I can go to sleep no matter how messy my house is. It drives my husband crazy! I wish I was just a tad bit more like Mimi in this department. Oh well! ~Erica

• The cover lids to the toilet seats have to be down in our house! A toilet with the lid up just makes the whole bathroom seem messy to me.....kind of like an unmade bed does in the bedroom. Sorry, was this waaaay to much information? ~ Nan

• I take both contacts out at the same time. It drives my husband crazy but it saves me time. Until one rips. Never mind.~Mimi

• Sometimes I chew gum in church if my throat feels dry. Sometimes I forget myself and blow loud bubbles. Did I mention I am a pastor's wife and sit in the front row? ~ Nan

• I just can't kick the visual of Mimi taking her contacts out at the same time... any others... HOLY WEIRDO BATMAN! ~Tarah

• Not sure why I love my cousin Tarah... but I do. Holy Weirdo Robin!~Mimi

• Tarah & Mimi sometimes scare we other 3 moms just a bit. ~AnonEmous {giggle}

• I have to check the doors and the stove before I go to bed each night. And occasionally the windows (if it's summer). I am a door-checker and a stove-checker. ~ Nan

• I leave my purse in the car overnight in the garage...HUBS hates it...but it saves me time trying to figure out where it is....I'll give all of you my address in a later post so you can break in for a free shopping spree. ~Tarah

• I cannot go to sleep without making sure our bedroom closet door is closed. I will hop out of bed and close it if it's open. You never know what might be looking out at you..... ~ Nan

• Ditto to Nan's above... ~Mimi

• Sometimes I completely forget to make sure all the doors are locked at night. I'll give all of you my address so Sara's ax murderer can find me. ~Erica

• I cannot apply eyeshadow or eyeliner without opening my mouth to do it. I've tried closing my mouth but it just keeps popping open. ~ Nan

• Even if it is 3am when I am getting ready for bed, I take out my contacts & throw on my glasses to walk to bed. No, I am not that blind...I just have to have them by my bed at night even if it is for only a few hours. ~Mimi

• Whenever I put my makeup on, I always seem to smile at myself for some reason. Not because I'm full of myself. It's more like a twitch and it just happens. ~ Miti

• I spit in the sink when I wash my hands. It started when I was SOOOOO sick while pregnant... always nauseated... Now there's no reason - I just can't kick that habit. I did not just admit that. ~Erica

• I twirl my hair around my finger when I'm bored or need something to "fiddle" with. ~ Nan

• Sometimes, I throw my gum out the window in the car....my kids keep telling me that I am littering but I insist NO. Its better than paper right? Am I littering? I just can't seem to KICK it. ~Tarah

• The first thing I ALWAYS do when I get home is runnnnn to the bathroom and tinkle. ~ Miti

• I have a bladder like a camel and can go 10 hours without a bathroom break. Yep, that's me, "Camel-Girl." Been called it before/ Be called it again. ~Erica

SOOOOOOOO, do all you other moms out there have quirks? Or are you PERFECT like us?

~ ♥ The 5 Moms

Mom Brain

Since having children my Brain has totally taken a vacation. I no longer have the College Educated Brain I paid so much for, no...I have something even better...THE MOM BRAIN!

Definition of Mom Brain:

A place where a bunch of useless information hangs out & crowds out all of the important things you should know & remember.

Let me enlighten you if I may~

How many of you can remember all of my children's birth dates, weight, height, social security numbers, but can't remember that you were doing laundry 30 minutes ago & need to put those clothes in the dryer so you don't have to rewash them for the third time? Oh, I'm the only one with Mom Brain? I think not...

Hold on to your dirty laundry...it gets better~

When speaking to my children, I go through all of their names & throw in a few names of kids that don't even belong to me because I just can't spit out the name of the face staring right at me. Please tell me I am not alone in this? I sometimes give up & say..."Hey you with the head!" That way I am for sure to get it right!

How about this talent~

I actually amaze myself with my ability to know exactly where all of my kids lost items are & can rattle their hiding place off without pausing when asked where they are, but cannot for the life of me remember what outfit I wore just yesterday or what I had for breakfast.

Shopping with Mom Brain is always fun~

My trips to Target go a little something like this...leave reusable bags in the car, forget to use the coupons that are in my coupon holder right inside my purse & finally leave the store only to realize when I get home that I forgot the most important item on my list back at Target. I love when that happens. Grrrrr!

A.D.D doesn't help Mom Brain either~

I love it when I am making dinner & I forget to add an ingredient because my A.D.D kicks in while I am looking for the ingredient in the pantry & decide to organize the shelves instead. Those are always my award winning dinners. YUM!

I realize this disease is self diagnosed & totally made up, but I swear I have it. Cards & emails would be appreciated to help me get through this crazy time.

*I am not really sure if there is actually a cure for Mom Brain, but I am guessing it starts about 18 years after the birth of your last child. I am just saying...*

Do you think you have Mom Brain?

* Please leave me a kind comment & then head over to visit Christina's blog...because her idea was for me to feature a blogger each Friday. I am gonna try to link one at the end of my posts on Friday...So Christina, you are first & I hope you meet some new fun bloggy friends today!*

*Tell her Mimi sent you!*

Siriusly, I LOVE 80's Music!!

Dearly Beloved Bloggers,

SAY SAY SAY....Do y'all ever get the urge to go back in time? Well, every now and then, I like to step into a musical time machine (aka Sirius Radio) and let it take me back to the sounds of the past. The other day, I was in the mood for some feel good 80's music and so, with just a click of the remote, I was reminiscing and having a good o' time. It made me wanna slip on some warm leg warmers, tease up my hair in a big frenzy mess and start dancing like a MANIAC. Well....not exactly, but you get my drift. I don't know about y'all but I think the 80's had the best music. Back in the day, you could sing about anything and WHAM it was a hit. All that was needed was a good beat. I mean really....when was the last time you danced to a song about how a STRAY CAT STRUTs or someone named MR. ROBOTO? The possibilities were endless for song writers and BOY (GEORGE)...could they WHIP IT!! You could sing about a girl named EILEEN or BILLIE JEAN. And at times, VENUS was her name. Other times, you could sing about your SISTER CHRISTIAN motoring and asking her what's her price for flight. And don't forget about that little ditty about JACK AND DIANE.

Colors were also a big deal in the 80's. Oh, yes. Those TRUE COLORS did shine through. In the 80's, the RAIN was PURPLE, the HOUSES were PINK, and the WINE wasn't just red. It was RED RED, as were those LITTLE RED CORVETTES and those 99 RED BALLOONS. And you remember when EBONY AND IVORY lived together in perfect harmony? Yup, those were the 80's. Weren't they just lovely?!!!

I hope your ears enjoyed this musical feast. Now it's time for me to BEAT IT. Thanks so much for going down ELECTRIC AVENUE with me.


P.S. If you GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN, just give me a call. My number is 867-5309.
{wink} {wink}