Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dealings with a No-It-All

Dearly Beloved Bloggers,

Recently, I've been having to deal with a No-It-All. You know, the kind that says NO to EVERYthing.

Let me demonstrate a day in the life of the 3ft. tall

ME: Let's eat breakfast/lunch/dinner.
NO-IT-ALL: NO, I want a snack.

ME: Let's go get a bath.
NO-IT-All: NO, I don't want to!! :o(

(arriving at the grocery store)
ME: We're here. Let's go get some groceries. :o)
NO....I wanna stay in the CARrrrr!!!!!

ME: Let's go inside. The skeeters are gettin' us.
NO.....NO.....NO..... AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

Let's go put jammies on.
NOPE. (running away giggling)

And just today, I experienced the following at Chick-A-Donald's (aka McDonald's)....

ME: O.K, it's time to go to the library.
(temper flaring on the FLOOR!)


Growing up, I was always a people pleaser, always wanting to please and never wanting to stirrup any trouble. Needless to say, dealing with a No-It-All is NOT my forte. I know the NOs are to be expected at the age of three, but will the madness ever end?!!!

Will he ever see the glass half full?

Will he ever turn lemons into lemonade?

Where's the silver lining?

How can I turn my little No-It-All into a Yes Man?

(The No-It-All is NOT a fictional character. He/she lives and breathes in homes all across world. Click here for exhibit #1).


  1. The No-It-All is no fun. Not that I have all the answers, because I have a teenager now, and that's a whole different ball game. Have you put any discipline in place to correct all the no's? Just asking.

  2. I love the no and then all the arguing and debating I do with my 4 year old. Yeah it is a lovely thing I tell ya. Love it! I was never this difficult as a child...was I?

  3. Do not argue with him/ firm, loving, and consistent. This will prepare you for the worst days...the teenage and young adult years.
    GOD BLESS, andrea

  4. My boys are older now but I still have No-It-All's. They are just more passive agressive about it. They don't yell "No" at me anymore, they just turn around and mumble it under their breathe!! They still do what I tell them too most of the time but "NO" is still a frequently used word in our household!!

  5. If you are really dealing with a child that is always saying "No", you will want to deal with it now, while they are young, otherwise you are going to have a very difficult life as they get older and more set in their ways. If this child is in daycare, changing his/her behavior is going to be more challenging for you.

    I think a child needs to understand they must obey because God says so, and the He promises that their life will go well for them if they do.
    Ephesians 6:1-3

    I encourage you to see this blog…
    The 'D' word: Discipline!!

    And especially this blog…
    Win Over Whining

    I am not a Know-it-all so I will not give any more advice. I hope you find the answer you are seeking.


  6. P.S. If you get one of those annoying boxes popping up saying that Internet Explorer cannot open this site…hit the back button to return to the site, and it should come up properly.
    The 'D' word: Discipline!!

  7. Ah yes...your world sounds vaguely familar! Pain in the bazooka!

  8. Oh, I have a couple of those living in our house some days :) Aww, the joys of little ones...does it help that your No-it-all is too darn cute :) Probably not...heehee! It will get better...but there are always going to be those days! I just threaten to throw all their toys in the garbage...sometimes that helps! {I know, is that mean or what!}

  9. Man, are you saying this is only going to get worse?? My boy turns 2 on Sat and he is already the king of all ways to say no. In fact, the most recent has been the wordless no, the mmm mumm. Yeah ok so I have no idea how you would spell it, but i then answer with uh huh. Get it? Ugh.

  10. Oh boy! I do NOT miss those days at all. But yea, be firm and fight that battle NOW while he's little so you don't have to still even HAVE a battle when he's bigger. =0)

    This brings back SUCH memories!!! I fought that battle. I won that war! This too shall pass, Miti. Hang in there. You'll blink and have a whole new different sort of issue to deal with. Fix one, and then the next one starts!

    ha ha ha

  11. you know though, as an adult i wish i could say no more. maybe we have something to learn as well. :0) it's all good. i guess i'd rather hear why than no even!!

  12. OH NOOOOO...a No-it-all is never fun! I agree with Erica, be strong and deal with it NOW :) This too shall pass soon!

  13. Dear Miti,

    You are sweet. I was hesitant to write anything, because I really do not Know-it-all, so I am extremely happy to hear that you are not offended by what I wrote and that you found those blogs helpful. May God bless you and lead you each step of the way.


    P.S. Thank you for stopping by my blog to say "Hello".

  14. Oh, the joys that I have to look forward to!

  15. ahhhh the joys of living with a toddler/pre-schooler/ schoolager/ teenager/ any child who can talk!

  16. Ask him why he's saying no. He probably has no clue, just knows that "no" gets him attention.

  17. I have NO answers for you because I am dealing with the same crap myself. Seriously, did you write this post specifically about Reagan? Let me know if you find any answers!

  18. I was the NO IT ALL in my fam for a while - after major pain - no matter WHAT my two children asked me - my response was "NO!"
    I finally asked meself - self - why are you ALWAYS saying "NO!" - ahhhh b'c it was easier than having to consider WHAT they were asking...
    The No it all wants control
    The No it all is really interested in doing WHAT they're doing and nothing else.
    They want to CHANGE the parent who will allow them to control.
    Ah - the No it all - hey -I'm STILL like that! :) :)

  19. HOPE THANKS so much for the mention about HOW to load a page that gets that annoying internet explorer dialogue box - in fact it's a monologue box b'c there's NO TALKING TO IT! Just hit the back button and it will reload - I have had the PROB with 3 other blogs ...

  20. Ah yes! My No it alls...are the ripe ages of 7 and 4!!! It gets better when you can reason with them but then it also gets worse when they can reason with you!!! LOL. So, hopefully that NO it all doesn't KNOW all the tricks you have up your sleeve!!!

    Great Post!

  21. Pick your battles!! A tantrum gets NO reward-ever. Be firm, offer a compromise on things you are willing to compromise on, and stick to your guns on things you are not. Never let them beg/reason/convince you to change your mind on something that is non-negotiable. Make sure that they understand that a tantrum is the quickest way to NOT get what they want. And remember, he/she is 3-this too shall pass! :)

  22. We haven't gotten to this point yet. Maybe we'll just skip right over it or maybe I have a "yes-man." I doubt that so when we get there, I'm gonna remember the "this too shall pass" part.

  23. When my 3 year old gets like that i say, time for a nap.

  24. I have that times 2!!! And then they jump on the bandwagon together and other times they are dead set against each other. Fun I tellya...pure fun!!! NOT! Have fun with that!!

  25. Wish I KNEW it all, but I NO, nothing. It is so fun to see the stages they go through. He will then reach 15 and he really will KNOW it all. Good luck.

  26. Oh Darcie's comment just made me think about my 19 year old. Yes, he's KNOWN EVERYTHING since he was about 16. Yes,everything. He's a super hero. If you don't believe me, go read my "Meet My Family" post. It tells all about him!!! How long before he realizes Mom and Dad aren't total idiots???

    Yes Miti. You still have LOTS to look forward to. =0)

  27. Hi there,
    I saw that you left a comment on my blog so I was excited to come over this way to say Hello. I have a 3 year old myself, so I deal with many a crabby child who wants to assert his lovely 3 year old will. I am in no way an expert on parenting, but have gained my fair share of wisdom through God's word. So I'll pass along a few ideas you might be interested in. The first thing is to really be vigilant about training the kids while your in the privacy of your own home. Take every opportunity to use those difficult 'no' moments to teach them "it's not okay to tell mama and daddy 'no'". I like to bring scripture into it "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right", or "Honour thy father and they mother". If you can train them at home to obey, then once you're in public it's easier to enforce it.
    Okay, so let's say you're now in public, what happens if they start acting up? Well the first thing I like to do is before we even get out of the car I tell them what I expect of them (even a 3 year old can understand how you expect them to act). Before you even get him out of his car seat, look him in the eyes and calmly tell him that he needs to be a good boy, stay right with you, have good manners, etc. If he starts acting up then get down to his level, look him in the eyes and calmly tell him he needs to stop disobeying. There's nothing I hate more than to hear a parent in the store screaming at their kids to stop running around or screaming themselves. If you stay calm then it's more likely the child will stay calm. The last tip I have is to give choices to your child- but either choice has the same outcome. For example: Son, do you want to put on your pj's or do you want me to put on the pj's (either way he gets on his pj's). Or son, do you want to pick out the bedtime book or do you want me to pick out the book? Or, son, do you want to hold my grocery list while we're at the store, or hold this toy I have for you (keeping hands busy at the store is always great). You can give kids choices so they feel like their important, but you're still getting done what needs to be done.
    Okay, I've gone on waaaayyyyy too long and I apologize- I guess I'm feeling gabby today.
    Julianne :)

  28. I hope you get some great tips to get though this phase quickly. They go from "no-it-all's" to "know-it-all's"...yep, fun times...

  29. Those were NOT easy years my friend...Hope he will fall in love with "yes" very soon!

  30. Yikes. I feel for you. I think I'd want to scream and throw a fit on the floor too. lol

    My daughter is just starting the "why" question when I ask her to do something (she will be 4 in August).

  31. Aw yes, I remember it well, lol! Everything was no, it seems. They do out grow it though!

    Every time we went to a store, if they behaved well at the store, the NEXT time we went to the store, they were rewarded by going down the toy aisle at the end of our shopping. They had to leave the toy aisle with no complaining or fuss, or they didn't get to go down it the NEXT time. They also weren't allowed to ask me to buy them anything. That worked really well.

    So pretty much, every time we went to the store, we went to the toy aisle at the end. But they had to leave without complaining, as I said, or they missed it the next time.

    Same with McDonalds. They had to leave McDonalds nicely or the NEXT time we went, they had to have a timeout for awhile instead of playing on toys.

    They do test you, but it did work well. We only had a couple of times where they didn't get to go down the toy aisle or had a timeout at McDonalds before they learned.

    I used to give my kids timeouts in the car if they needed it. They had to sit quietly in their carseats and they weren't allowed to talk. One minute per age for the timeout.

    The funny thing is, they often didn't talk while in their carseats anyway, but for some reason this always worked and they hated having a timeout in the car! You could have them put their heads down on the seat but I never did.

  32. Have fun with that one! Just remember one of my favorite quotes from the Bible...."And it came to pass..."


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