Conversations I've Had With My Husband

I love calling my hubby at work. After all, it's not like he's got anything better to do. I'll bet he just sits there by the phone, waiting for my phone calls. I tend to view calling my hubby at work as a cross between a twitter and a facebook status, only more fun. Because after all, sometimes I have some really important things to talk about.

• Like asking him "What is the name of that thing that I like?" And he'll say "What thing?" and I will answer "You know, the thing. The thing! The thing that does the thing!" I get louder each time I use the word thing, because clearly he can't hear me. We do lots of talking about things and thingys around here.
  

• Or saying "Did you see the link I put on my facebook status?" To which he will reply "No. I'm working." To which I will reply "Well, you get a lunch break, don't you?"
• Or stating "I just cleaned the bathrooms" and my hubby will reply "I am happy for you."
• Or "Hey, is it raining where you are?" because, after all, the church is sooooo far away.
• Or asking him "Do you know if there is any chocolate in the house?" (No kidding, I have done this, chocolate desperation breeds strong measures. Just ask Kim or Lisa.)
  
• Or "Do you think I should cut my hair?"
• Or "I'm going to Costco today" to which he usually replies "And how is that different from any other day?"
• Or asking him "Do you have a meeting tonight?" even though he's already told me so 50 times. These are the times that he seriously wonders if I ever listen to him. I do. I just forget everything he says right after he says it.......
• Or asking him "Do you think I should buy another pair of jeans?"
• Or the always exciting "Guess what I found at Goodwill today. Guess!!!!"
• Or another thrilling question "Do you think it's going to rain?"

I have also been known to complain:

• "The bathroom sink is plugged"
• "I don't know what to eat for lunch. Nothing sounds good."
• "The dog threw up on the bed." (I also made that a facebook status and a twitter so I scored three complaints for that one!)
• "My car needs gas."
• "I'm bored."
• "I have a headache."
• "I'm grumpy."
• "I gained three pounds!!!!!!!!!"
  
• "I have cramps"

My hubby is smart enough to know those last four statements are laced with danger and that he needs to tread lightly.....humor goes a long way to calming a hormonal wife....and so does chocolate. (Except when she's trying to cut down)

What I really need to do is learn to disguise my voice so nobody recognizes me when I call him at work. Oh, and if you go to the same church as me, I deny all of this and you can't prove a thing.