Tuesday, February 23, 2010

You Meet The Strangest People At The Movies

I like movies with happy endings, don't you? I don't like movies that get me to like someone and then they kill them off. That is not a happy ending to me.

Of course, I don't personally "know" the character, but if I have invested two hours or so of my life into something, I want my happy ending. I need my happy ending. I demand my happy ending.

So, as you can imagine, I am careful about what movies I watch on t.v., and I almost never go to a movie theater. I have gone out to the movies only once in five years.

The thing I don't like about movie theaters is that no one is willing to stop the movie so that I can get up and go to the bathroom. The nerve. And yes, I went before we left. Your point?

The other thing I don't like about movie theaters is that no one is willing to stop the movie so that I can get up and buy some more overpriced snacks.

My husband and I view going to the movie theaters differently. He doesn't really see a need to buy any of their goodies that they sell.

I very rarely go to the movies, as I said, so I tend to think of it as an "Event." Something along the lines of Disneyland. Only without the rides. And without Mickey. And without the castle. And without the long lines.

Oh wait a minute, this is a movie theater. There are usually long lines somewhere. Especially in the food line and the bathroom line.

I also have a fear of leaving my seat (to go to the bathroom if you must know) and not being able to find it again. I have a fear of walking up and down the aisles in the dark, glancing from side to side trying to find where my husband and children are sitting.

For some reason I can't bring myself to tell you about my bathroom habits (aren't you glad?). They are fine, really they are. But for some reason whenever I sit down in a movie theater, the call of the bathroom is like a siren's call. Or call of the wild. Or the young and the restless. I just can't avoid it.

As I mentioned before, it's dark in there. I have a fear of coming back and sitting down next to a total stranger, putting my hand in their popcorn, whispering "Wow, I really had to go!" into their ear, and drinking their pop and burping quietly but annoyingly into their popcorn.

See, this is why I stay home. I almost never get lost coming out of my own bathroom.

24 comments:

  1. I think we have a lot of the same inhibitions, although possibly not the same bathroom habits. (Oh, look I suddenly crossed the TMI line!) I don't usually get lost coming out of my bathroom, but I do often forget what I was in the middle of doing when I decided I had to go in there in the first place. : )

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  2. Too funny! I rarely go to the movie either...mainly because I would rather get it on Netflix and say a bundle of money:) I had to get up during the movie too. But anytime you go with kiddos, you will go to the bathroom at least three times during the movie!

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  3. Wow you sound like me my friend. I rarely go to the movies, (mainly because there isn't anything worth seeing) but when I go I like to make a big deal out of it. And if and when I do go it's almost always a matinee so the lines aren't long for anything!
    Hugs
    Kim

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  4. Too funny! I think they put something in the fountain drinks at the theatre that MAKES you have to go to the bathroom. Then, you miss part of the movie, and you need to see it again...see? It's a conspiracy. At least you have DVD's now, so you can rent the movies and go to the bathroom as often as you'd like.

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  5. I rarely go to the movies....
    Hugs,
    andrea

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  6. Girl you are a mess....I haven't been to the theater in over 6 years...too costly and I can't sit that long...don't think I made it through an entire movie at home in years either...if I stop, I go to sleep....

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  7. How funny!! We do not go to the movies much.. I can't stay awake that long when I sit still!

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  8. Nan,

    I guess we all live in those fears. I am lucky for now, I go to the bathroom before the movie starts, limit myself on how much I drink while I am watching the movie and get everything before I go in, like popcorn and something to drink.

    However I do find that I am half way through the popcorn before I get through the movie previews and shows they do before you movie even starts.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  9. My nephew just celebrated his birthday at the movies. It was jam packed with 3 & 4 year olds. It was hectic to say the least. I like taking dollar store candy boxes when we go. It helps us save a little bit of money.

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  10. what a hoot! Thanks for the giggle! and if you ever go and happen to sit by me, drink my pop and eat my popcorn and burp telling me how your bathroom trip went I will give you the biggest hug ever and shout "NAN I finally got to meet you face to face! I knew it was you the moment you grabbed my drink!!!" LOL

    Have a blessed day

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  11. Oh man. That would be such a bummer!!! But funny. I mean, I would not laugh at you but OK maybe a little ;)

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  12. Yep, I think we must be a lot alike. I have had those fears too and I usually go right before the movie starts. Most of the time any more I don't have to get up, but I've always worried about having to come back inside in the dark. Girl you are just too funny sometimes.

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  13. Only you would be able to broadcast a woman's greatest fear with such opaque humor. But, I personally think it is worser, much, much worser, having to go to the bathroom on an airplane! I hate walking down that narrow aisle, bumping into people like a wayward bowling bowling ball, knowing they all know I have to go tinkle!!!!

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  14. Yes.....funny, really funny. join me for WFW today, have an amazing day ahead.

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  15. Hahaha! My husband can relate...his bathroom...um, er...instincts kick in whenever he steps into a library. lol

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  16. Funny stuff! Laughed out loud at the end.....

    My fear is not washing my hands enough after touching Lord knows what in the movie theater, imagining the Ebola virus on the arms of the chairs, cannot even imagine what is stuck to my shoes

    ....but that popcorn is so darn good, I take the chance and go for it anyway.

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  17. Nan...you're killing me!!! I just love you, girl. You always make my day...

    Hey, stop by and enter my heavenly giveaway!

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  18. Oh my that would be too hilarious! I have to agree with you about the happy ending thing! The ending makes the whole movie. Who wants to wast two hours of their life and be sad at the end and have to pay for it too! :)

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  19. Hahaha!!! So glad I came right over here! I ABSOLUTELY have to have a happy ending too! (That is why, no more Nicolas Sparks movies, never mind how well written his books are! They are just too sad!)

    Blessings & Aloha!

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  20. LOL! I haven't gone to the movies in quite a while. I wait until they come out in DVD. :D

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  21. That's Hilarious! We don't go to the movies because of the price, and now that I think about it, all of your reasons are good ones too:-)

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  22. Nan, you're a nut. ha. We always sit on an end ... easier to find. ha.

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