Thursday, December 10, 2009


'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat
- let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
"Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!"

When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear.
With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!"

"Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact

To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefully went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!


Wishing you lots of
this holiday season!


  1. Too funny. That is so us. I will sure miss the toy days, but I will not miss assembling them. Although, isn't that the joy of Christmas eve? LOL

  2. Miti,

    This was a great post because as parents of kids, we've all encountered this. It seems like it gets worse every year when they make removing all the pieces require an engineering degree!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  3. Oh how cute.... did you WRITE THAT, MITI? It was excellent!!!

  4. That was adorable!!! Great post and fun little message...isn't that kids are ALMOST out of the some assembly required phase!!!

  5. Great post! We bought one big present for everyone this year, but I think we're still going to be up most of the night getting it installed and working properly!

  6. I love it! I have always loved playing Santa on Christmas Eve and boy have we made some funny memories each year!

  7. Yes, yes, yes...don't forget the batteries...whatever you do...DON'T forget the batteries. Not that I am speaking from experience.

  8. Those batteries will trick you up every time! :)

  9. At least this lady's husband helps. In this house, I'm doing it all because somebody (hubby) gets frustrated with "assembly required."

  10. I skipped the items needing assembly this year.But I did however forget batteries!It's not Christmas yet but I let the kids unwrap their gifts that DO take batteries.Great post!

  11. Oh my goodness, I remember watching my hubby when he put together the baby's crib for the first time, lol! I also remember a few wild Christmases with him trying to put things together while the kids were waiting impatiently, lol!

  12. Love it! Oh man I remember those days! I always have to leave myself a note about getting batteries!

  13. That's the worst part of being a single mom..having to be Santa/constructionist all by myself!

  14. I found this poem on the net and thought it was cute. But what I'm especially irritated by is the hundreds of twisty ties. Are they really THAT necessary??? They drive me CRAZY!!!


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