It was a Sunday afternoon... just your everyday, run-of-the-mill, Sunday afternoon. The kids had just left to go see their daddy, so it was just me in the house. It was quiet. Too quiet. Must have noise!
The TV is always good for filler-noise. Who knows, maybe there's something entertaining on!
And so it began. The HUNT. All I wanted was the remote. Just one simple, little remote control. It had been a few hours since I'd last seen it, but I new it was here somewhere. It could NOT be far.
Hmmm, usually it is found nestled beneath a couch pillow... or inside the doors of the entertainment center. Checked all the regular spots, no remote. Not under there, not on top of there, not on that little table.... must dig deeper.
And so began the removal of couch cushions. And THAT, my friends, is when it happened.
That is when I found.... uh..... well, it might be easier to list what all I didn't find! I did not find a live horse, no kitchen sink, and no kitchen mop. But everything else was under there!
The more I looked, the more my blood seemed to boil.
BIG COUCH - (the most common sittin' spot)
Cushion #1 -
3 Butterfinger wrappers (the miniature kind though), 1 cotton ball, one Star Wars III movie in case, 1 Bugle Boy label off of some socks that we bought who knows when, 1 red 80-sheet wireless notebook, a dirty sock, a ballet slipper & some crumbs
I thought that was bad, til I moved to the next one:
Cushion #2 -
1 purple shirt, 1 white tank top, 1 pair of panties, 1 bra, 3 socks, a hair tie & the other ballet slipper (all of THAT belonged to Riley), a washrag, a screwdriver, a PSP game, a miniature skateboard, 6 used kleenexes, a pencil, a battery, 2 paperclips, a firework, a couple of Legos, 4 pieces of notebook paper, a kids-meal book from Whataburger, some tiny pieces of trash, a few air-soft pellets, and more crumbs.
Seriously? This is ridiculous!
Cushion #3 -
a magnifying glass, 2 pencils, a scarf (this one's actually MINE?!), a few pieces of random paper, 2 receipts, a sock, 2 game pieces, a Tic Tac, and more crumbs.
Ya know, after the big reveal under cushion #2, this one seemed so MILD!
LOVE SEAT:
Cushion #1 -
half an easter egg, a hole puncher, a pencil, an eraser, another Lego, a bag of BBs, a papertowel, a key, a battery, more loose air-soft pellets, and a Gatti-land game card.
Cushion #2 -
a sock, a toy walrus, a cardboard boomerang, the other half of that easter egg, a pen, a hair-rubberband, and an unknown object? (the kids will surely know what it's for)
Someday... some way... my house will be clean. That day will probaby not be until I no longer have kids at home, huh?
SINGLE CHAIR -
2 dirty socks, a playing card, half of an ink pen, and a ton of loose air-soft pellets, and a cracker.... but no longer in "whole" form.... make that a million cracker crumbs.
And ya know what? STILL no remote control.
So I began looking UNDER the couches. And ya know what? It was WORSE than under the cushions:
5 socks, a rag, 2 stereo speakers w/ cords, a fanny-pack (I've never seen this thing before in my life), a t-shirt, trash, a nametage cord, a Nintendo DS game, a spiral notebook, a CD holder, lots a trash, a pink basetball bat, a camp badge, notebook paper, many Legos, a variety of batteries, a magazine, mail fliers, a knife, scissors, dumbell, half of a recorder, a walking stick, a straw, a kleenex, and a thingamabobble (I have no idea what it is)!
And ya know what? Still no remote.
Now my living room which "appeared" to be clean just 30 minutes ago is literally TRASHED! And my kids aren't even here to clean it up. So begins the job of putting it all away... also known as DUMPING it all in their rooms so THEY can clean it up when they get home.
***NOTE***
Guess what? Upon duping off a load of said junk in the boys' room, I found my remote... Lying on Mathew's bed. Figures!
Now, go check under your cushions and leave me a comment telling me how bad your's are. Come on, this Mama needs to feel better about HER house.
