Umbrellas Are For Cowards

Did you all pass out in surprise when Erica posted yesterday? I'll bet you thought we Five Moms were lost in a pile of laundry somewhere, didn't you? Wasn't her idea adorable?

I would love to blog about something equally brilliant. Unfortunately you're just stuck with my ramblings, because I haven't been working on anything other than my tan, and that isn't going so well.

Today I fixed my hair all cute and then proceeded to watch all my stylin' wash away in the rain. And I do mean RAIN, we are talking Noah's Ark rain, people. My. Word.

Here's the problem: I don't like to wear a hat in the rain because it ruins my hairstyle. I don't like to wear a hood in the rain because it ruins my hairstyle. I don't like to wear my HAIR in the rain because it ruins my hairstyle. "Umbrellas are for cowards!" I cry as I run outside and totally throw caution (and my hair) to the winds.....and the rain.

I absolutely pretty much 100% categorically refuse to carry an umbrella.

Umbrellas are a nuisance. Who wants to carry an umbrella, look at all the fun you'd be missing? When you refuse to carry an umbrella:

• You can have the crazy thrill of running through a parking lot as fast as you can, hoping that it's not raining as much as it looks.
• You can experience that wonderful moment when a big drip cascades down your neck, down your back and between your shoulder blades
• Your hair can be a quick change artist - from full to flat in 5.7 seconds.
• You can experience what it would be like to take a shower with everything on.
• You can experience the fun as your mascara burns your eyes and runs down your face.
• You can look like a raccoon with your rings of mascara all around the eyes.
• You can have an excuse to change your clothes several times a day, as no one would expect you to remain in wet clothes.
• You can listen to the squeak, squeak, squeak of your shoes as you walk through the store and everyone turns to stare at you.
• You can have the thrill of discovery as you realize that you have a hole in the bottom of your shoe.
• You can cry in the rain and no one will ever know, unless you do the big ugly cry, in which case everyone will know.
  
• You can come in all wet from outside and look at someone blankly when they brightly ask "Oh, is it raining outside?"
  

On the other hand, there could be lots of fun carrying an umbrella too:

• You could smack people with it if they are walking too slow.
• You could use it to pick up gum off the ground if you're feeling hungry.
• You could wave it around and yell "I am Mary Poppins. Follow me if you want to learn how to fly!!!!" and start running away fast.
  
• You could use it as a cane when your legs start to ache from all that running.
• You could carry it upside down and use it to carry your groceries.
  
• You could hide behind it and play peek-a-boo with total strangers.
  
• You could buy one in every color to match your wardrobe.

The possibilities are endless, but I may rethink my umbrella policy, although I have yet to see 007 with an umbrella. So, tell me, do YOU use an umbrella when it's raining or do you like living dangerously?