Bumps, And Aches, And Bruises, Oh My!

I get annoyed when I hurt myself. I really do. If I bump into something hard enough that it hurts, it annoys me. It not only annoys me, it has the potential to greatly irritate me....not to mention it might even hurt my feelings.

I think it's because I feel it's unnecessary. After all, it's not like I'm walking down the hall and all of a sudden the wall jumps out and deliberately gets in my way. It's not as if I am standing in the kitchen and the cupboard or drawer suddenly attacks me.

It just feels that way sometimes.

I have lived in this house a long time. I know where the walls are. I know where the corners and edges are. Still, I manage to hurt myself.

I can walk and turn the corner........and the corner has moved. All of a sudden, the wall is three feet longer than it used to be, which means the corner is now in my way. That is the only explanation.

The cupboards and drawers conspire against me. The walls move, the floors become uneven all of a sudden, the stairs are like a roller coaster ride.

What other explanation is there? It's either them, or me.

And if it's me, then it's my fault, and thus I can prevent it. Only, I don't.

I cut corners as I'm going from room to room. I don't walk, I rush.

I pile a laundry basket about five feet high and then try to carry the thing down the stairs, carefully feeling for each step in front of me as I can't see where I'm going.....I am just an accident looking for a place to happen.

I take it as a personal insult if the phone rings more than once. I like to see how quickly I can answer the phone, even if it means I have to bodily launch myself into the air, leaping over dogs and people alike to get to it. Because I have to answer it first, of course.

I leave cupboard doors open, bend down to pick up something that fell out of the cupboard, and then bump my head on the cupboard door. I burn my fingers in the oven, slam my fingers in the drawers, and all in all just manage to injure myself.

Annoying, but true. And now, if you will excuse me, I have to go bump into something on my way to somewhere. Thank you.